by Kathryn E. May, PsyD on 03/26/13
Let’s talk about relationships. You all have them. You don’t all have good ones, however. Sometimes your relationships are bothersome and painful. This, you think, is just part of life. All relationships take work, you tell yourselves. Then you work and work and work to make yours better, but it gets worse. In the midst of this process, you promise yourselves to try even harder, because you don’t want to fail at relationships.
In your emotional blindness, you have no perspective on the fact that relationships are supposed to be fulfilling, interesting, and yes, occasionally stretch your imagination or your hold on your ego, but it is not supposed to be miserable. Not ever. It is possible to agree in the beginning of your time together that you will never, ever, make each other miserable.
What are the things that make everyone miserable? This is remarkably easy to learn.
1. Everyone hates being teased or bullied, even if the others involved think it is funny.
2. Everyone feels miserable if the partner with whom they have pledged fidelity decides to take another partner while they are still together.
3. Everyone feels rejected if their partner rudely or indifferently rebuffs their sexual advances, or forces themselves on a reluctant partner.
4. Everyone suffers if their partner takes their joint resources and uses the lion’s share for themselves, or contributes far less to the partnership in every way, including emotional involvement.
5. No one likes to be misunderstood, mistrusted or treated as if they are someone other than themselves.
6. The one quality in a relationship that will guarantee conflict is if either or both of the partners is disrespectful, belittling or judgmental, even or perhaps especially when it occurs during an argument as a way of suppressing or subduing the other.
There you have it. These are the behaviors and attitudes which will kill love, no matter how strong it might have been in the beginning. Many couples end up disliking each other because of early emotional abuse, then conclude that their lack of warmth or sex or agreement is caused by money issues, or sexual incompatibility. These are just the symptoms which surface after feelings have been hurt and the emotional wounds go unaddressed or denied.
Human beings are not so complex emotionally, you know. You all want to feel respected, admired and welcomed into the group, especially when the group is your family. It is truly sad to see how many parents believe it is their only job to discipline and control their children, when the child only wants to be accepted and loved. Those same children grow up to treat their partners as if they are criminals or slackers, judging and commenting on their every move. You all know the couple who constantly pick at each other, questioning “Why do you always do that,” or “What’s wrong with you?”
As an extension of #1 above, name-calling should also be forbidden between loving partners or family members. Nicknaming your child or spouse “Stupid,” “Clumsy” or “Lazy” is guaranteed to create an enemy for life.
And what are the qualities and behaviors that will guarantee an agreeable and lasting relationship? Love, compassion, empathy, forgiveness, kindness, and above all, managing your own feelings rather than trying to get someone else to manage theirs.
These small guidelines may seem trite or overly simple. They are not. If you are tempted to say that to yourself, stop and examine yourself carefully. Do you complain about small things, justifying them with some excuse about your own rightness? Do you lash out at your loved ones when you are in a bad mood or feeling “stressed?” Do you mock or brush off your partner’s objection to your judgment of them?
Why do we now offer you this Lesson in Marriage and Family Life right now, after all this time? Why of course, this is the True Way for all relationships.
It is not possible to raise your consciousness to the 5th dimension if you are still wrangling with the people around you. Search deeply into your own part in the perpetual unpleasantness, if it is only to accept the off-handed (or red-handed) abuse of the one you supposedly love. As we mentioned first, relationships are not supposed to hurt.
Use the forum of your engagements with everyone you encounter in a day to examine how your own behavior affect others. Try an exercise for a whole day: every time you meet another person, no matter what the context, try to put yourself in their shoes. Imagine what they must be feeling or thinking. Study their behavior; look closely to discern what their feelings are. Do not speak until you have looked into their eyes and smiled. Do the same with your partner and your children, or someone else’s children, all day long. You will be amazed at the number of pleasant encounters you will have, and the enormous impact it will have on your partnership.
Let us reiterate: This is not a simple exercise. It is the Golden Rule as it applies to family relationships, where it really matters. It takes discipline, a high level of consciousness and what has been called emotional intelligence to maintain a loving attitude to everyone around you, all day long. This is applied mindfulness.
Many on a spiritual path make the mistake of focusing exclusively on inner feeling states, positive thoughts, and feeling good when you are alone. This is a good start, but of course, the proof is ultimately in how you treat yourself and others in relationship.
You have spent many months clearing yourselves to become unburdened of old resentments and pain. Now the energies are rising, and friendships are coming to the fore as an important focus as you elevate further. Use your foundation of good work and self-knowledge to “kick it up a notch” as you sometimes say. Your loved ones will thank you for it.
And now, before we leave we would like to alert you to a very important event which is about to take place on March 26, in the skies overhead. It will probably occur over the northern area of Alaska or Canada. It is the approach of a meteorite which has been speeding toward Earth on a direct tragectory. Your news probably has not announced it, because governments agree that it’s impact range cannot be accurately predicted and they do not wish to cause panic. (Most governments greatly underestimate the maturity of their citizens.)
Here is why this is a historic event: The meteor has already been slowed in its trajectory by your Star Brothers and Sisters in the ships – an effect which has your astronomers baffled! Just as the falling meteor over Russia was detonated in order to mitigate the destruction, this one will also be destroyed before it hits the ground. Watch the photographs for Ashtar’s ship leaving the scene after the explosion occurs, for he is the one who will be in charge of destroying the space rock to protect Gaia and her people. It will be an opportunity for all of you to see your protectors in action.
We hope that this event will provide an opportunity for Disclosure, and for you to feel the Love and commitment to your well-being which your friends in the ships feel for you. They are indeed experts at living the Golden Rule; they offer above-and beyond Love and protection as a way of life. You will learn much from them about Love and deep connection when you finally meet.
We are Mother/Father God, in the Company of Heaven
Via Kathryn May, March 26, 2013, 5 AM.